Overig / Algemeen / Just a joke #2
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geplaatst: 1 mei 2015, 15:37 uur
Volgens mij stond daar nog een heel rijtje onder Luke, de ene nog leuker dan de andere 
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panjoe (moderator)
geplaatst: 4 mei 2015, 12:28 uur
An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up.
The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said, 'Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that Doc?'
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story.
'I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun.'
'As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver siting at the waters edge...'
'He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature. Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it right at the animal as if it were his favourite hunting rifle and went 'bang bang'.'
'Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.'
'Now what do you think about that?' asked the doctor.
The 86-year-old said, 'Logic would strongly suggest that someone else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.'
The doctor replied, 'My point exactly.'
The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said, 'Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that Doc?'
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story.
'I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun.'
'As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver siting at the waters edge...'
'He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature. Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it right at the animal as if it were his favourite hunting rifle and went 'bang bang'.'
'Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.'
'Now what do you think about that?' asked the doctor.
The 86-year-old said, 'Logic would strongly suggest that someone else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.'
The doctor replied, 'My point exactly.'
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geplaatst: 8 mei 2015, 10:21 uur
Arno schreef:
Is echtgenote Varoufakis mysterieuze vrouw uit "Common people" van Pulp? - deredactie.be
Is echtgenote Varoufakis mysterieuze vrouw uit "Common people" van Pulp? - deredactie.be
Kwam het ook tegen op m'n Facebook-timeline, van een andere bron. Die bron heeft zijn nieuwsbericht later geüpdatet met dat het weer door iemand is ontkracht omdat Varoufakis in juni van een bepaald jaar afstudeerde aan St. Martin's, terwijl Cocker er in september van dat jaar kwam studeren.
Wel grappig dat hij zelf ook geen idee heeft over wie het gaat.
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Improvision
geplaatst: 8 mei 2015, 13:19 uur
Deze net op facebook zien verschijnen:
http://www.scottblogs.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/man-with-elephant.bmp
In 1986, Peter Davies was on a holiday in Kenya after graduating from Louisiana State University.
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the piece of wood out with his pocket knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day,
Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted, all that while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.
Probably wasn't the same fucking elephant.
This is for everyone who sends me those heart-warming bullshit stories.
http://www.scottblogs.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/man-with-elephant.bmp
In 1986, Peter Davies was on a holiday in Kenya after graduating from Louisiana State University.
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the piece of wood out with his pocket knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day,
Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted, all that while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.
Probably wasn't the same fucking elephant.
This is for everyone who sends me those heart-warming bullshit stories.
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Azaad
geplaatst: 12 mei 2015, 22:51 uur
http://pokebot.everyboty.net/pix/1552.jpg
Zo waar dat het pijn doet.
Zo waar dat het pijn doet.
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