Overig / Algemeen / Just a joke #2
4
geplaatst: 7 november 2022, 00:42 uur
The Beatles defending a free kick (1968)
https://i.ibb.co/YcyrSnr/Fg39-Ebx-X0-AIpnu1.jpg
https://i.ibb.co/YcyrSnr/Fg39-Ebx-X0-AIpnu1.jpg
6
geplaatst: 16 november 2022, 22:06 uur
En een tweetal uit de oude, stoffige doos:
Agnes married and had 13 children.
When her husband died, she married again and had 7 more children.
Again, her husband died. So Agnes remarried and this time had 5 more children.
Alas, she finally died.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her.
He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, Lord, they're finally together.
One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?"
The friend replied, "I think he means her legs."
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what?
You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"
"What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
”I think you're bad luck."
Agnes married and had 13 children.
When her husband died, she married again and had 7 more children.
Again, her husband died. So Agnes remarried and this time had 5 more children.
Alas, she finally died.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her.
He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, Lord, they're finally together.
One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?"
The friend replied, "I think he means her legs."
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what?
You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"
"What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
”I think you're bad luck."
9
geplaatst: 18 november 2022, 22:38 uur
Een tekstgrap:
The Irish Post is running a contest for the design of a tunnel between Ireland (Dun Laoghaire) and Great Britain (Holyhead). The venue is in Dun Laoghaire, near the harbour entrance where participants are exhibiting their plans; among the contenders are:
• The Dutch who have set up a large Philips LCD screen where pictures of tugboats, and all sorts of vessels are shown carrying out marine building tasks
• The Germans who are there with a number of U-boats
• The Irish, a two men team: Sean and Padraig both swinging a spade
The Irish Post reporter considers this a remarkable display and asks the Irish team: “Aye, ye lads, what’s your concept?”
Sean, the best talker of the two: “Well Paddy takes the boat to Holyhead and starts digging there and I’ll start digging here and then we meet under The Irish See and that will be the tunnel”. Paddy nods approvingly.
The reporter: “But what if the two of you never meet”?
Sean grins and says: “No problem, then you’ll have two tunnels for the same money”.
The Irish Post is running a contest for the design of a tunnel between Ireland (Dun Laoghaire) and Great Britain (Holyhead). The venue is in Dun Laoghaire, near the harbour entrance where participants are exhibiting their plans; among the contenders are:
• The Dutch who have set up a large Philips LCD screen where pictures of tugboats, and all sorts of vessels are shown carrying out marine building tasks
• The Germans who are there with a number of U-boats
• The Irish, a two men team: Sean and Padraig both swinging a spade
The Irish Post reporter considers this a remarkable display and asks the Irish team: “Aye, ye lads, what’s your concept?”
Sean, the best talker of the two: “Well Paddy takes the boat to Holyhead and starts digging there and I’ll start digging here and then we meet under The Irish See and that will be the tunnel”. Paddy nods approvingly.
The reporter: “But what if the two of you never meet”?
Sean grins and says: “No problem, then you’ll have two tunnels for the same money”.
0
geplaatst: 20 november 2022, 12:11 uur
Een belastinginspecteur belt aan bij een huis. Een klein jongetje doet open.
De belastinginspecteur vraagt:
"Is jou papa misschien thuis?"
"Nee, " zegt het jongetje, "die ligt in het ziekenhuis."
"Oh, wat is er dan gebeurt?"
"Hij is onder de tractor gekomen."
"Dat is niet zo best. Is jou mama dan thuis?"
"Nee,die ligt ook in het ziekenhuis."
"Wat is er dan met haar gebeurd?"
"Ook onder de tractor gekomen..."
"Heb je dan misschien een grotere broer of zus?"
"Ja, een grotere broer."
"Is die dan thuis?"
"Nee, die ligt ook in het ziekenhuis. Hij is ook onder de tractor gekomen."
"Maar wat doe jij dan hier?!?"
Oh, wat ik meestal doe, een beetje rondrijden op de tractor
De belastinginspecteur vraagt:
"Is jou papa misschien thuis?"
"Nee, " zegt het jongetje, "die ligt in het ziekenhuis."
"Oh, wat is er dan gebeurt?"
"Hij is onder de tractor gekomen."
"Dat is niet zo best. Is jou mama dan thuis?"
"Nee,die ligt ook in het ziekenhuis."
"Wat is er dan met haar gebeurd?"
"Ook onder de tractor gekomen..."
"Heb je dan misschien een grotere broer of zus?"
"Ja, een grotere broer."
"Is die dan thuis?"
"Nee, die ligt ook in het ziekenhuis. Hij is ook onder de tractor gekomen."
"Maar wat doe jij dan hier?!?"
Oh, wat ik meestal doe, een beetje rondrijden op de tractor
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