Justin Bieber - Baby

Baby, baby, baby ohh
Like baby, baby, baby noo
Like baby, baby, baby ohh
I thought youd always be mine,mine (oh oh)

Haha, dat wel goed vinden, maar afgeven op Auto, vliegtuug van Rowwen Hèze...

I did it all for the nookie, so you can take that cookie and stick it up your YEAH!

Metallica - St. Anger

Saint Anger 'round my neck
Saint Anger 'round my neck
He never gets respect
Saint Anger 'round my neck

(You flush it out, you flush it out)
Saint Anger 'round my neck
(you flush it out, you flush it out)
He never gets respect
(you flush it out, you flush it out)
Saint Anger 'round my neck
(You flush it out, you flush it out)
He never gets respect

Fuck it all and no regrets,
I hit the lights on these dark sets.
I need a voice to let myself
To let myself go free.
Fuck it all and Fucking no regrets,
I hit the lights on these dark sets.
Medallion noose, I'll hang myself.
Saint Anger 'round my neck

I feel my world shake
Like an earthquake
Hard to see clear
Is it me? Is it fear?

I'm madly in anger with you
I'm madly in anger with you
I'm madly in anger with you
I'm madly in anger with you

Saint Anger 'round my neck
Saint Anger 'round my neck
He never gets respect
Saint Anger 'round my neck

(You flush it out, you flush it out)
Saint Anger 'round my neck
(You flush it out, you flush it out)
He never gets respect
(You flush it out, you flush it out)
Saint Anger 'round my neck
(You flush it out, you flush it out)
He never gets respect

(oohh)

Fuck it all and no regrets,
I hit the lights on these dark sets.
I need a voice to let myself
To let myself go free.
Fuck it all and fuckin' no regrets,
I hit the lights on these dark sets.
Let down your noose, I'll hang myself.
Saint Anger 'round my neck

I feel my world shake
Like an earthquake
Hard to see clear
Is it me? Is it fear?

I'm madly in anger with you
I'm madly in anger with you
I'm madly in anger with you
I'm madly in anger with you

and I want my anger to be healthy
and I want my anger just for me
and I need my anger not to control
yeah, and I want my anger to be me

and I need to set my anger free
and I need to set my anger free
and I need to set my anger free
and I need to set my anger free

SET IT FREE!

Fuck it all and no regrets,
I hit the lights on these dark sets.
I need a voice to let myself
To let myself go free.
Fuck it all and fuckin' no regrets,
I hit the lights on these dark sets.
Medallion noose, I'll hang myself.
Saint Anger 'round my neck

I feel my world shake
Like an earthquake
Hard to see clear
Is it me? Is it fear?

I'm madly in anger with you
I'm madly in anger with you
I'm madly in anger with you
I'm madly in anger with you

Die kan tellen

Dit is een mooie aanleiding om er onversneden stukken poëzie van mijn lievelingsband Krezip er bij te pakken. Vooral mooi hoe Jacqueline invloeden van de vroege Lucebert in haar visionaire beeldspraak stopt.

Toen ik jou hier zag posten wist ik gewoon dat het er één van die enge Jacqueline zou zijn.

Duizenden en duizenden gillende meisjes.

..maar niet vanwege de vrouwvriendelijke teksten



New Kids on the Block - Tonight

Band Zonder Banaan - Mietjes

Miss Montreal - Addicted to Crying. Dat je zo'n tekst opneemt en naar buiten brengt, zonder enige schaamte, daar verdien je een voor.

Die teksten die Slowgaze post zijn zo erg. Geef mij dan maar dit soort gein:

'I love you like a fat kid loves cake'

50 Cent - 21 Questions.

The long road went good? Volgens mij is dat niet eens fatsoenlijk Engels... Dit is wel echt een hele slechte tekst, ja. Ik heb hem twee keer helemaal gelezen en ik heb nog steeds geen flauw idee wat ze hier probeert te communiceren.

Hier nog eentje. Fascinerend hoe zo'n stortvloed aan woorden zo'n semantisch leeg geheel kan opleveren. Ik heb een student die ook zulke teksten schrijft, eerst lees je jezelf er een stevige migraine aan om dan toch maar te moeten concluderen dat het gewoon ouderwetse lulkoek is, een opeenstapeling van betekenisloze en ongerelateerde zinnen waaraan een suggestie van logica wordt gehangen d.m.v. wat slim ingezette koppelwoorden. Dan dat tenenkrommende Engels...


Slotje, slechter gaat het niet worden.

Deze is hilarisch. En, wees gerust; hij is ook als grappig bedoelt - Bloodbath (Michael Akerfeldt; van Opeth) neemt zichzelf niet serieus wat betreft teksten en 'Death Metal' attitude.

BLOODBATH - EATEN
I've had one desire since I was born
To see my body ripped and torn
To see my flesh devoured before my eyes
Only for you , I volunteer as a human sacrifice

[Chorus]
Carve me up, slice me apart
Suck my guts and lick my heart
Chop me up, I like to be hurt
Drink my marrow and blood for dessert
EATEN...
My one desire, my only wish is to be-
EATEN...
The longer I live the more I'm dying to feel the pain
EATEN...
I would do anything to be-
EATEN...
My one desire, my only wish is to be-
EATEN...

I finally found you, my personal slaughter
As an appetizer,I let you taste my daughter
Call me sick but this is what I need
My only purpose here is for you to feed

[Chorus]
Carve me up, slice me apart
Suck my guts and lick my heart
Chop me up, I like to be hurt
Drink my marrow and blood for dessert
EATEN...
My one desire, my only wish is to be-
EATEN...
The longer I live the more I'm dying to feel the pain
EATEN...
I would do anything to be-
EATEN...
My one desire, my only wish is to be-
EATEN...

Desecrate me
Tear me limb from limb
Eviscerate me
Chew me to death

EATEN...
My one desire, my only wish is to be-
EATEN...
The longer I live the more I'm dying to feel the pain
EATEN...
I would do anything to be-
EATEN...
My one desire, my only wish is to be-
EATEN...

Gebaseerd op die Duitse kannibaal, toch?

Edit: Armin Meiwes dus.

Correct. Net daardoor heeft de tekst misschien meer in zich dan het absurde ranzig gedoe, maar ah; het blijft grappig te horen.

Ook het nummer Mein Teil van Rammstein is gebaseerd op die Duitse kannibaal:

Suche gut gebauten Achtzehn- bis Dreißigjährigen zum
Schlachten
Der Metzgermeister

Heute treff ich einen Herrn
Der hat mich zum Fressen gern
Weiche Teile und auch harte
stehen auf der Speisekarte

Dann du bist
was du isst
und ihr wisst
was es ist

Es ist mein teil - nein
Mein Teil - nein
Dann das ist mein teil - nein
Mein Teil - nein

Die stumpfe Klinge - gut und recht
Ich blute stark und mir ist schlecht
Muss ich auch mit der Ohnmacht kämpfen
ich esse weiter unter Krämpfen

Ist doch so gut gewürzt
und so schön flambiert
und so liebevoll auf Porzellan serviert
Dazu ein guter Wein und zarter
kerzenschein
Ja da lass ich mir Zeit
Etwas Kultur muss sein

Dann du bist
was du isst
und ihr wisst
was es ist

Es ist mein teil - nein
Mein Teil - nein
Dann das ist mein teil - nein
Yes it's mein teil - nein

Ein Schrei wird zum himmel fahren
schneidet sich durch engelscharen
Vom Wolkendach fällt Federfleisch
auf meine kindheit mit gekreish

Es ist mein teil - nein
Mein Teil - nein
Dann Das ist mein teil - nein
Mein Teil - nein

Het valt me tegen dat deze nog niet genoemd is: Tony Esposito - Papa Chico.
Ik hoorde dit nummer in de auto met mijn vriendin en zei tegen haar: What thé f*** zingt die kerel...
Dus toen ben ik het gaan opzoeken en toen vond ik ook een filmpje waarin de heren van Draadstaal het zich ook afvroegen.

Hij zingt dus dit:

Papa Chico, you're the sun
For the children don't want a gun
Papa Chico's playing this song
All the people are turning around

Papa Chico, move your eyes
Your discover is eating the ice
Papa Chico, sing this song
All the people are feeling they're gone

En dat 7x.

YouTube - Draadstaal - Snackbar Papa Chico

Zlad met Elektronik Supersonik bevat mijn favoriete slechte songtekst ooit. Voor wie het nummer niet kent is de videoclip ook een aanrader!

Hey baby, wake up from your asleep.
We have arrived on to the future and the whole world is become...

Electronik, supersonik. Supersonik, electronik.

Hey baby, ride with me away.
We doesn't have much time.
My blue jeans is tight,
So on to my love rocket climb.
Inside tank of fuel is not fuel but love,
Above us, there is nothing above
But the stars above.
All systems gone, prepare for downcount!
5
4
3
1!
Offblast!

Fly away in my space rocket.
You no need put money in my pocket.
The door is closed I just lock it.
(Hah!) I put my spark plug in your socket (Hah! Ha ha hah!)

The sun in sky is bright like fire!
You and me gets higher and higher.
Heart of communication fire!
Only thing can stop us is flat tire.

(Hah! Hah! Ha ha hah!)

Hey love crusader, I want to be your space invader.
For you I will descend the deepest moon crater.
I is most stronger than darth vapor.
Obey me, I is your new dictator.

For you is Venus, I am Mars.
With you I is more richer than all the czars.
Make a wishes on a shooting stars, then for you I will play on my cosmic guitars!

Ladies and gentlemen, fasten your beltseats.
We has commenced our descent.
I trust you enjoy this flight as much as you enjoy this accent.

Now, back on earth, is time for down splash.
Into sea of eternal glory my spaceship crash.
People have arrived for to cheer me from near and far.
And as I bloat, I open door and shout:
I am world's biggest washed-up superstar!
(Supersonik, electronik)

As for sure as the sun rises in the west, of all the singers and poets on earth, I am the bestest.
Come, let me put ring of jupiter on your finger.
Then, like a smell around you, I will forever linger.

Okay, is time for end, no more will I sang.
Let me take you back in time, I want for you to experience big bang.
Long live space race, long live Molvania.

Is dit niet toevallig een Black Eyed Peas-nummer?

De clip is minstens zo goed

Above us, there is nothing above
But the stars above.

Zlad is hilarisch!

Boney M heeft in een poging (van producer Frank Farian) om begin jaren '90 een comeback te maken Papa Chico ook nog eens opgenomen. En zelfs zij (en Boney M heeft ook nog wel wat stompzinnige teksten op hun naam staan) vonden de tekst te ver gaan en herschreven het nummer zo'n beetje.

Het is begin jaren '90 dus moet er een ontzettend slecht rapje in.

Ha die Leon, ik heb trek in een fijne krokante snack.
Ha die Leon, ik heb zin, gooi d'r maar een kipcorntje in.

When I was younger I saw my daddy
cry and curse at the wind.
He broke his own heart and
I watched as he tried to re-assemble it.
And my mamma swore she would
never let herself forget.
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love if does not exist.
But darling..

You are the only exception (x4)

Maybe I know somewhere deep in
my soul that love never lasts.
And we've got to find other ways
to make it alone or keep a straight face.
And I've always lived like this
keeping a comfortable, distance.
And up until now I swore to myself
that I'm content with loneliness,
'cause none of it was ever worth the risk.

But you are the only exception (x4)

I've got a tight grip on reality,
but I can't let go of whats part of me here.
I know you're leaving in the morning, when you wake up,
leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream.

Whooa..

You are the only exception (x8)
And I'm on my way to believing.. (x2)

Het komt me bekend voor maar van wie is het ook alweer ?

System of a Down - Chic 'n' Stu... Ontzettend kutnummer met ook nog eens een belachelijk slechte songtekst, vind dit echt om te huilen...

This ballgame's in the refrigerator,
The door is closed,
The lights are out
And the butter's getting hard.

What a splendid pie,
Pizza-pizza pie,
Every minute, every second,
Buy, buy, buy, buy, buy,
What a splendid pie,
Pizza-pizza pie,
Every minute, every second,
Buy, buy, buy, buy, buy,

Pepperoni and green peppers
Mushrooms, olives, chives,
Pepperoni and green peppers
Mushrooms, olives, chives,

Need therapy, therapy,
Advertising causes need,
Therapy, therapy,
Advertising causes,

What a splendid pie,
Pizza-pizza pie,
Every minute, every second,
Buy, buy, buy, buy, buy,
What a splendid pie,
Pizza-pizza pie,
Every minute, every second,
Buy, buy, buy, buy, buy,

Pepperoni and green peppers
Mushrooms, olives, chives,
Pepperoni and green peppers
Mushrooms, olives, chives,
Need therapy, therapy,
Advertising causes need,
Therapy, therapy,
Advertising causes need,
Therapy, therapy,
Advertising causes,
Therapy, therapy,
Advertising causes,
Therapy, therapy,
Advertising causes,
Therapy, therapy,
Advertising causes,

Advertising's got you on the run,
Need therapy, therapy advertising causes,
Advertising's got you on the run,
Need therapy, therapy advertising causes,
Advertising's got you on the run,
Advertising's got you on the run,
Advertising's got you on the run,
Advertising's got you on the run,
Advertising's got you on the run,
Advertising's got you on the run,
Advertising's got you on the run,

What a splendid pie,
Pizza-pizza pie,
Every minute, every second,
Buy, buy, buy, buy, buy,
What a splendid pie,
Pizza-pizza pie,
Every minute, every second,
Buy, buy, buy, buy, buy,

Pepperoni and green peppers
Mushrooms, olives, chives,
Pepperoni and green peppers
Mushrooms, olives, chives,

Need therapy, therapy
Advertising causes need,
Therapy, therapy,
Advertising causes need,
Therapy, therapy,
Advertising causes need,
Therapy, therapy,
Advertising causes need.

Echt kromme tenen kreeg ik van dat nummer van Lange Frans en The Lau, vooral van het refreintje dan:

Zing een liedje voor me Frans
Zing een liedje voor me Frans
Ook al is het in het Frans
Zing een liedje voor me

Rot op.

En dan was het ook nog een (gelukte) maar erg cynische comeback. Zoiets als de grootste hits van zijn duo (Het Land van.. en Zinloos), omdat dat het meeste kans maakt. Sentimentele pseudo hiphop. Bah.

In de categorie leuk. maar slecht. Of slecht, maar leuk slecht. Of zoiets.

Straight Outta Locash uit de film CB4. Het is een parodie op Straight Outta Compton van NWA door o.a. Chris Rock.

[Daddy-O]
CB4 in the motherfuckin house!

[Hi-C]
Yeah Gusto's in the motherfuckin house
with my man Dead Mike!
We breakin motherfuckers off 24-7!
So check this shit out!
Aiyyo Gusto... (whassup?)
KICK THAT SHIT!!!

[Hi-C]
Straight Outta Locash
A crazy mothafucka named Gusto
I fucked ya wife, cause the bitch is a big hoe
I fucked ya sister, I fucked ya cat
I would have fucked ya mom but the bitch is too fat!
When I'm in ya neighborhood, ya betta dig a moat
cause I'm comin to slit... ya motherfuckin throat!
Blood is drippin, I'm not slippin
Bitches panties, is what I'm rippin
Rollin faster than a motherfuckin dirt bike
Never met a piece of pussy that I didn't like
Like to eat it, like to suck it
Take a shit... in a bucket; Straight Outta Locash!!!

Crazy motherfuckers, hah hah!
(Where you from, nigga?)

[Daddy-O]
Comin straight out of Locash,
a crazy motherfucker named Dead Mike
So get ready cause you're goin for a long hike
off a cliff, I'm drivin you over
Now ya dead with ya fo' leaf clover
Float like a cannonball, sting like a shark
I'm the nigga waitin for you in the dark
Waitin to rob you, waitin to beat you
A bullet in ya head is how I greet you (whassup nigga?)
A villain with a hat, and it's like that
I tied yo' moms to a motherfuckin train track
Flat on her back, I give her some crack
It's ten o'clock - DO YOU KNOW WHERE YO MOMS IS AT?
At my house (doin what?) wipin her ass
She had to move... STRAIGHT OUTTA LOCASH!!!

[scratches til fade]